


when everything is gone, we'll still be begging for more

by hlulu



Series: the october kinks '20 [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Begging, Kink Discovery, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, References to Drugs, Size Kink, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:15:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlulu/pseuds/hlulu
Summary: mingi just wants to try something new, and san would do anything to make his boyfriend feel good.
Relationships: Choi San/Song Mingi
Series: the october kinks '20 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964608
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	when everything is gone, we'll still be begging for more

**Author's Note:**

> i am gonna say sorry in advance for this one because i wrote it in less than six? hours and didn't really edit so it's pretty rough and all over the place, and also because every time i remember mingi is a leo sun+cancer moon i tend to write him like this,,,, and it is a little annoying but i hope you guys like it because i kinda enjoyed writing it??? sorry@!

they'd had sex almost a dozen times. enough times that he should probably be over his ridiculous fascination with mingi's cock by now, san is pretty sure. but they'd always been crammed into a dark bunk, or hiding out in the shadows in some mostly hidden corner of a venue, half-dressed and hurried. he'd never had an opportunity to really look, the way he could do right now, with mingi naked on the huge hotel room bed, and san comfortably stretched out between his thighs.

mingi definitely has the biggest cock of any guy san had ever slept with. he carefully strokes that extra bit of skin with the tips of his fingers, fascinated all over again at how soft it was. he bents down and rubs his lips against it touching the head where the skin is wetter and smoother than his own. he wished he could rub his lips against his own cock, just for comparison's sake. 

san pokes out his tongue and licks, rubbing the tip of his tongue against all those neat textures, shifting mingi's foreskin around a little just to see if he could. mingi makes a noise, a kind of low and broken groan that makes san startle and look up, and then he suddenly realizes that he'd spent at least the last ten minutes, probably more like fifteen, totally zoning out on mingi's cock like a giant loser cocktease stoner. _fuck_ , he definitely should not have had that last joint.

mingi is flushed all the way from his hairline down to his chest, clutching the bedspread in a white knuckled grip, his whole body almost vibrating with badly restrained tension. san didn't really get why mingi hadn't just shoved his head down and reminded him to get on with it, like, ten minutes ago. 

"sorry, fuck, sorry," he mumbles, crawling up the bed to kiss mingi in apology. "i suck. what do you want to do? come on, anything you want to do. just tell me."

mingi kisses him back easily enough, giving a little half-muffled sigh against san's mouth, that sounds more like disappointment than pleasure and san's stomach clenches up a little. he always hated disappointing people, but it was worse with mingi, who was really bad about saying anything, and would just sigh a lot and internalize everything. and then, when he finally ended up yelling at you, there'd be weeks worth of frustration coming out all at once, when it was too late to do anything about any of it.

san had been his boyfriend for not even three weeks now, and this isn't the first time he'd got the feeling that he isn't really doing it for mingi in bed. experience suggested that if the sex didn't even work at the beginning, when there was still that spark of excitement and newness, it certainly wouldn't get any better once people started to get bored of him.

he has no idea what exactly it is that he isn't doing or doing wrong. today's drug induced zone out aside, he'd been trying his best, and he'd be happy to take instructions if mingi would just give them.

he kisses mingi's neck, and his stomach, and then leans his head against mingi's side, nuzzling his hip suggestively. "come on, anything," and when mingi still didn't answer, "want to fuck me? or i could suck your cock. properly this time."

he grins up at mingi, who smiles back kind of stiffly. of course, that could just be mingi being mingi, but san didn't want to keep prodding if it was just going to get on his nerves, either. he sighes a little and gives up on getting any kind of useful answer. he takes mingi's cock back into his mouth, no teasing this time, just trying to make it as good as he could. sliding down deep, wrapping his hand around the base. his lips don't even touch his hand unless he really concentrated on going down, which is kind of awesome. 

(okay, so maybe he was a bit of a size queen, but whatever.)

mingi sighs a little, his hips hitching up, but then his hand slide into san's hair, gently tugging him off. "wait," he says, and his voice has that weird flat tone it got when he is feeling deeply uncomfortable with a situation. san blinks up at him in surprise. mingi don't meet his eyes. "could you, like, tease a little. don't. um. don't let me come?"

"really?" san says, surprised. it seems like a weird request for mingi, who tends to dig in his heels and get really cranky when you try to make him do anything he didn't feel like doing. making him wait for an orgasm seems to fall into that general category.

and it's not the right thing to say when mingi is obviously already uncomfortable making the request, of course. mingi glares at him and pulls back, sitting up and crossing his arms defensively. "if you're going to turn this into some kind of joke—" he says tersely.

"i'm not!" san interrupts indignantly. "i wasn't. i wouldn't! it just wasn't what i was expecting. do you, like, want me to make you beg? is that what you want?"

"look, just forget i said anything, okay," mingi says without uncrossing his arms.

"i'm not making fun of you!" san says. "i'm not, i swear."

 _fuck_ , mingi gets defensive so easily when he thinks someone might possibly be making fun of him. "no, come on, let me do this for you. i'd like to. really," san says, aware that he sounds a little desperate. this is the first time mingi had admitted to something he wants in bed, and san really wants to do this for him. it is also… it would be so hot, getting mingi to beg for it, when he usually tried so hard to seem cool and disenchanted about everything related to sex.

"lie back down and put your hands above your head?" san says. he's trying for commanding, but it comes out uncertain and a little embarrassed. still, mingi obeys after a long and tense pause, although it is obvious from the look on his face that he is probably one wrong step away from getting really angry, his eyes are tightly closed, and there's a faint flush on his cheekbones. the fact that mingi is so obviously embarrassed about wanting this, weirdly makes san feel better about not having much of a clue what he is doing. at least mingi probably isn't expecting him to be very good at it.

mingi is rigidly tense under him, his muscles clenched tight, and he isn't really hard anymore. although that is kind of fun, actually. usually by the time san got his mouth on him, he'd be all the way there already. it is nice to be able to feel mingi get slowly hard in his mouth. san takes his time, licking the soft skin on the head of mingi's dick just because it feels nice on his tongue, experimenting to see how far he can take him without choking, and then trying to go further.

it couldn't be very good for mingi at all – he isn't sucking, or sticking to any rhythm, and he keeps backing off before he makes himself gag– but mingi is panting and squirming under him already, trying to thrust up.

san braces his forearm on mingi's hip and leans on it, pinning him down. "no," he says, and the words came surprisingly easily, now. "i'm having fun here, and you're just going to have to wait."

mingi goes even more tense under him, and san has to fight down a flutter of anxiety in his chest. _god,_ he doesn't know what he is doing— he wasn't some commanding bdsm master, or whatever the fuck it was mingi wanted. he doesn't know how to make someone beg, especially someone as stubborn as mingi.

but when he looks up, mingi is flushed all the way down to his chest, his hands clenched above his head as if they'd been chained there, and his cock is twitching in san's hand. obviously this is working for him on some level.

it is certainly working for san, at least. mingi is pretty easy to tease, he happily discovered. it is surprisingly fun, easing him right up to the edge and then pulling back, leaving him squirming with frustration. it is really nice to be able to take his time like this, too. to be able to just lean up on his elbows and watch mingi, stretched out naked on the bed, lean muscles pulled and his hands clutching the sheets as if he has to fight not to reach down and make san do what he wants. 

mingi is getting close again, he can tell— his breathing hitching in a way san already learned to recognize. san pulls off at the last second. mingi moans, a hitching, desperate sound, and his hips are trying to follow san's mouth. san feels the nervousness rising up in him again. ignoring mingi's obvious signals like this goes against everything he'd ever managed to learn about sex, and he half expects mingi to get pissed with him, even knowing that this was what he'd asked for.

mingi turns his face into the sheets and he is _panting_. his hands are opening and closing like he is looking for something to hold on to. "if you want it, you're going to have to ask for it," san tries.

mingi lifts his head and stares at him with an unreadable look, and san almost gives in right there. but if mingi had changed his mind, he would just say so, wouldn't he? he wasn't even tied down, san couldn't actually make him do anything at all.

"please," mingi says, flat and defiant, like he's still expecting san to mock him for begging.

san freezes for a moment, uncertain. he isn't sure if he is supposed to push any further than this, but on the other hand, if mingi wants to beg, he hadn't exactly done a lot of that yet.

"do you want to come?" he asks, deciding to make him say it at least once.

mingi bit his lip and looks away. "please, yes, let me come," he says hoarsely, as if it hurt to get the words out. he still isn't looking at san, but even with his face turned mostly away, san can see how hard this was for him, how embarrassing, when there is nothing to be embarrassed about. despite his own nervousness, san is painfully hard, watching mingi struggle to say what he'd asked him to.

"san, please," and he sounds sincere now, relaxing into it a little, as if he'd realized san wasn't going to make fun. as if everything he wants in the world at that moment is for san to let him come, and dammit, san doesn't know what to do with this. they should have agreed on a signal or something— he really doesn't know how far mingi wants him to push, or when he is supposed to give in.

"do you want me to—" he starts uncertain, and mingi immediately says "please—", except then he actually turns to look at san, and seems to realize that the question had been sincere, not just a prompt for more begging. he looks away again, quickly. "sure, if you want," he says, in that familiar flat voice, but it is easy enough to hear the disappointment underneath.

san takes a deep breath. "i don't think you really want it enough, if you can't even be bothered to ask for it properly," he says, scooting back a little so he can prop his chin up on his hands, not touching mingi at all anymore. "maybe you should try a little harder to convince me."

mingi jerks his head up to look at him, wide eyed, and then he relaxes back into the sheets, stretching out slowly, showily. "please touch me," he says. "san, please, i'll do whatever you want— you want me to suck you off, first? come on, please. anything."

 _god this is hot,_ mingi's rough, broken voice, begging for it like he really would do anything, anything at all.

"i want you to stay still," san says, feeling his own cock twitch eagerly when mingi immediately stops moving, unquestioningly obedient. he bends down and gives mingi's cock one long lick for encouragement, and then gets up and goes to the bathroom, where he'd tossed his toiletry bag when they'd come in. it takes him a minute to find the lube, but when he comes back into the bedroom, mingi is still stretched out in the exact same position he'd left him, the leg he'd had bent into an awkward position trembling a little with the strain of holding still.

san makes him stretch the leg out with a gentle hand on his knee so it won't cramp up, but he gives a little hiss of disapproval when mingi twitches as if he wanted to move the rest of his body. "i told you to hold still. if you want me to let you come, maybe you'd better try being good," he says.

it still feels weird saying things like this, like maybe mingi should be getting angry with him, but mingi is eagerly apologizing, "sorry, sorry," almost before san's even finishing speaking. he seems more into it than san had ever seen him, his eyes glazing and his skin a little damp with a faint sheen of sweat. san sees mingi's eyes flicker down to the tube of lube when he uncapped it with a loud pop. he doesn't think he is imagining the hint of nervousness in mingi's expression.

mingi's eyes goes wide when san straddles him and reaches behind himself. "oh god, san, please," mingi says, his hips twitching up, trying to rub up against san. san frowns at him, and mingi immediately stills himself again.

san takes his time preparing himself. mingi is craning his head, trying hard to watch what san was doing without moving his arms. he is looking at san with something almost like awe in his eyes, and san wants to enjoy the attention a little bit longer. he can't stretch it out forever though, seeing as he is getting kind of desperate himself.

he rolls a condom on mingi, as slowly and teasingly as he can, feeling him tremble with the effort not to trust up into san's hand. when he stroks him lightly with his lube slick hand, mingi makes a sound that sounds more like a sob than a moan. "san, please, i can't— please, please," he says.

"something you want?" san asks. he finds himself beaming, delighted. this is fun, and mingi is so obviously into it. he is so glad mingi had brought himself to ask for this.

mingi lets his head fall back into the pillow, panting. all the resistance seems to have gone out of him, and the embarrassment, too, like he'd completely relaxed into what they are doing, like he didn't have to struggle for the words anymore, or the courage to say them. it is such a rush, san feels a little dizzy with it himself. "please let me fuck you," mingi begs. "please, san."

"tell me you want it," san says, kneeling up over him. he has one hand spread flat on mingi's chest, holding him down.

"i want it," mingi says. "come on, please, i really want it." his head tilts back a little, exposing his throat in surrender.

 _i could probably make him say anything right now_ , san realizes, and the knowledge is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. but he in't going to push it now, when they hadn't talked at all about how far they are going with this, and when he isn't even sure if mingi would be able to look him in the eyes tomorrow as it is.

san takes a deep breath and grips mingi's cock with one hand, starting to sink down on him just the slightest bit. mingi is trembling, but otherwise holding himself carefully still.

this isn't how san had imagined their first time doing this would go, but this is also kind of perfect. mingi is so damn big, it is awesome to be able to take his time, sliding down in tiny increments and feel himself open around him. even so, it is a stretch. san pauses half way down, bracing himself on mingi's chest, his thighs trembling. he takes a deep breath and let it out shakily. he can feel his muscles twitching a little around mingi, trying to accommodate the stretch and from the way mingi's breath is hitching, he can feel it, too.

he holds himself still, thighs straining, until he can feel mingi starting to shift his hips just the tiniest bit, like he just can't hold still anymore.

"don't move!" he says, and waits until mingi forces himself to stillness again before sliding just the tiniest bit further down. god, this feels so fucking amazing. he'd never been fucked by anyone as big as mingi before, and this is definitely something else, the thrill of having to struggle to relax around him. more than that, though, this is mingi, and the fact that mingi trusts him enough to let san see him like this, so open, and in such a vulnerable position.

his thighs are seriously going to cramp up any minute now, so he takes a deep breath and slowly lets himself slide all the way down. maybe this wasn't the easiest position to choose for a first time after a long time. the penetration always felt really deep like this for some reason, and with mingi it is intense enough that it takes a while to get used to. he reaches down and strokes his finger over the base of mingi's cock, feeling himself stretched open around him. 

"oh…oh god, mingi, you're so big."

the first thing he sees when his eyes would properly focus again is mingi watching him with a mix of concern and desperation. "okay?" mingi asks quietly.

"way better than just okay," san says, grinning. he shifts a little, and watches mingi's eyes drop close, feeling giddy with his own power. "you know, i could do this all day." he wraps a hand around his own cock and rubs his thumb over the head, moaning with the way all sensations felt magnified like this. "god, this feels awesome," he tells mingi. "maybe i will do this all day. just sit here, jerk off, and not let you move. might be fun. probably not so much for you."

he feels mingi try to move his hips, like he is testing san, or maybe he just can't help it— but san is resting most of his weight on mingi's hips, and mingi doesn't have much leverage like this. he can't really do more than twitch ineffectively. he'd never be able to do more than tease himself that way. san watches mingi's eyes flutter close at the realization. "if you want me to move, you're going to have to ask," he says. "actually, you might have to convince me, because i'm feeling pretty good exactly where i am."

"oh god, san, please," mingi says. "come on, i'm so close, please just let me— just a bit, please, i just need a little bit more. _please_."

san shifts his weight a bit, experimentally, feeling mingi's cock move inside. _oh, fuck._ suddenly staying still wasn't quite so easy anymore.

"please, anything," mingi gasps, and san finally lets himself give in, easing into a rocking motion that set off sparks behind his eyes. "please, can i move?" 

san nods almost before he finishes speaking. it is even better like that, mingi thrusting up to meet him, the two of them finding a rhythm together.

"oh god, can i come, please, i'm so close— san, please, you need to stop or you need to let me come," mingi says, his voice breaking with desperation.

san stops. he is so close, he has to take a long deep breath just to stop himself from coming at the minor shift in pressure when he settles himself back on mingi's hips, and it feels like every cell in his body is straining to move. but it is worth it just to hear the sound mingi makes, something in between a wordless plea and a sob. san can feel him trembling.

"just a little longer," san says. he strokes down mingi's chest with one hand, soothing, and then rubs mingi's nipple with his thumb. mingi gasps, shuddering, and arches into the touch.

"hold still," san says, and then he starts moving again, a slow, rocking motion. now that he had a little break, most of his urgent need to come abates. mingi, on the other hand, only seems more desperate the longer san makes him wait.

he lets himself speed up gradually. mingi is breathing hard, making little whimpering sounds in time with san's movements. god, this is so hot. san grips his cock tighter, jerking off with hard quick strokes, his shoulders curling forward with how good it felt.

"oh god, please, _fuck_ — please, please," mingi gasps.

san is so close himself, almost, _almost_ there, and mingi's pleading just puts him closer to the edge. "after me," he manages to say, and then mingi's hand is joining his on his cock, long fingers wrapping around him just right, and the pleasure floods through him, bright and perfect.

mingi is still holding himself back when he is done, obviously hanging on by a thread. his face twisted up with concentration, and his entire skin is shining with sweat now, something san had never seen on him even during strenuous performances. "please," he whispers, and san fights the instinct to flop down bonelessly and clenches hard around him, twitching with overstimulation.

"now," he says, watching mingi's face go slack with pleasure with a sense of awe. mingi reaches for his hand in the middle of it, gripping hard, and he didn't let go even when he is done, sinking back into the bed with a tired, blissed out smile on his face.

"god, that was amazing," san says, easing off him and grimacing at the twinges of pain in his overtaxed muscles.

mingi squeezes his hand. "you okay?" he asks.

"yeah," san says. "definitely going to feel this for a day or two, though."

"sorry," mingi apologizes, but san waves him off with the hand that isn't happily curled up in mingi's.

"don't be. it's kinda hot."

they lay next to each other for a long, quiet moment, and the san tentatively inches a little closer. he'd always been a cuddler, but he hadn't had any opportunity yet to find out how mingi feels about it; they'd never had sex anywhere they could afford to linger afterwards.

mingi just shifts easily though, letting san curl up with his head on his shoulder. "that was amazing," he says. "thank you."

"i'm glad," san says, trying to relax into the warm, comfortable feeling enough to drift off to sleep, but a single thought is nagging at him, and can't let go until he finally says it out loud. "you want to do it like this every time, now?" he asks, a little apprehensive. he'd enjoyed it— he'd enjoyed it a whole lot, and he wouldn't at all mind doing it again. but every time...

"oh hell no," mingi interrupts his thought. "i mean, it's really hot, but it's kind of exhausting, you know? i like it just fine the regular way. i'd just really missed it, i haven't had the opportunity in so long, with... with someone i really trust," he says, the words coming out a little flat, like he didn't have the easiest time saying them.

san feels something relax inside him. "so you liked it just fine with me, yeah?" he asks, grinning.

mingi nudges san's shoulder with his, smiling back. "yeah," he says. "i like you just fine."


End file.
